The Pink Windmill

The Pink Windmill least inessential tracks of 2008

2008-12-25T18:55:00.005Z

10. Late of The Pier
"Space and The Woods"

9. The Hold Steady
"Constructive Summer"

8. The Ting Tings
"That's not my name"

7. Hercules and Love Affair
"Blind"

6. The Raconteurs
"Consoler of the Lonely"

5. Kanye West
"Flashing Lights"

4. N.E.R.D.
"Everyone Nose"

3. Cut Copy
"Hearts on Fire"

2. Wiley
"Wearing My Rolex"

1. Vampire Weekend
"A-Punk"

Fucking it Off

2008-02-07T12:32:00.000Z

Not sure how bothered I am about updating this blog any more, so I'm semi-retiring it.

Football-based thoughts will appear at Fire Andy Townsend and I will post any interesting links I find on my delicious page. As fans of my flickr will have noticed, I don't hold with all this tagging business. I consider it beneath me.

I ate children's hearts says General Butt Naked

2008-01-22T12:25:00.000Z

The story is horrific, but you can't help but laugh.

Unexpected

2008-01-06T21:39:00.000Z

69% Rudy Giuliani
59% John McCain
57% Chris Dodd
57% Mitt Romney
53% Hillary Clinton
53% Dennis Kucinich
52% Bill Richardson
51% Mike Gravel
51% Ron Paul
50% Barack Obama
50% Mike Huckabee
48% Joe Biden
47% John Edwards
45% Fred Thompson
38% Tom Tancredo

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

The Pink Windmill least inessential tracks of 2007

2007-12-21T10:31:00.000Z

[As hinted at here]

10. Kanye West
"Stronger"

9. Justice
"D.A.N.C.E."

8. Foals
"Mathletics"

7. Patrick Wolf
"The Magic Position"

6. Broken Family Band
"Leaps"

5. The Twilight Sad
"Cold Days From the Birdhouse"

4. Tunng
"Bullets"

3. LCD Soundsystem
"Someone Great"

2. Okkervil River
"Our Life Is Not a Movie Or Maybe"

1. Kleerup featuring Robyn
"With Every Heartbeat"

What tunes did YOU like?

The meme they couldn't hang

2007-12-12T01:05:00.000Z

Lolcats is an internet phenomenon that shows no sign of abating any time yet. I am a little concerned at the correct spelling and punctuation of recent variants, however - seems like some people are missing the point.

Anyway, the spin offs keep coming. First there was LOLCODE, then LolVogue and now Lolsheviks.

I present my own concept, LolArt:

Can you do better?

UPDATE: Bollocks. Someone else had the same idea.

Towards a new nemesis

2007-11-27T20:47:00.000Z

As you know, my nemesis is Lembit Öpik who is a frightful arse.

However, I might trade him in for professional friend of Ewan MacGregor, Charley Boorman who is an egregious cunt of the highest order.

Argh! Just fuck off! I hate you Boorman!

Quote of the day

2007-11-25T15:25:00.000Z

It is difficult to speak adequately or justly of London. It is not a pleasant place; it is not agreeable, or cheerful, or easy, or exempt from reproach. It is only magnificent. - Henry James

Mad Thought #1

2007-10-22T19:37:00.000+01:00

What if socks were chiral like shoes and it's only through sheer luck that I've been putting the correct sock on the correct foot all these years?

Bayes, House and Lupus

2007-10-19T00:12:00.000+01:00

It's NEVER Lupus!

But why is it never Lupus?

Bayes helps us here. The test for Lupus has a false positive rate of 5% and has a prevalence of 1 in 1000. If you test positive in a random assay, what are the odds that you actually have the disease?

If you said 95%, congratulations! You have now been struck off by the GMC!

Think of it this way, If you test 1,000 people for Lupus, 1 of them will correctly test positive and 50 of them will falsely test positive. The chances are only 1 in 51, less than 2%, that you actually have the disease even though you have tested positive!

In summary then, if you're a corrupt, drug abusing doctor, a textbook on Lupus is the best place to hide your Vicodin.

Allium

2007-10-17T10:56:00.000+01:00

This news story reminded me a lot of this.

My solution? Make your NI contributions based on your BMI and therefore your subsequent risk of needing medical treatment. Simple.

Exactly the sort of dull pedantry I look for in a wikipedia article

2007-10-08T16:20:00.000+01:00

Italian dictator Benito Mussolini did not make the trains run on time. Much of the repair work had been performed before Mussolini and the Fascists came to power in 1922. Accounts from the era also suggest that the Italian railways' legendary adherence to timetables was more myth than reality

And there's much much more.

A wish

2007-09-24T22:50:00.000+01:00

Please let this be a real product.

UPDATE: Hooray! It's Real!

Pac

2007-09-17T14:46:00.000+01:00

Two Pacman things:

1) Hey kids, it's Anti-pacman!

2) A fonny:

A law unto myself

2007-08-20T20:51:00.000+01:00

The excellent recent piece by Andrew Anthony is indicative of an internet phenomenon that I would like to christen "Davies' Law" as google tells me there isn't one already and I am nothing if not an egotist.

Davies' Law states:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of some wiseass mentioning Godwin's Law approaches one.

PS I recommend Anthony's book on penalties, called "On Penalties". Not least for its excellent cover, sadly changed for the paperback edition.

I have created a monster

2007-08-10T10:16:00.000+01:00

Or, as some might say, a forum for middle-class white men to be boring about football.

God knows there aren't enough blogs in the world, never mind enough men talking about football. This is a small step to rectifying that imbalance.

Cartophilia

2007-08-08T13:49:00.000+01:00

Like many people who are N's in the pseudoscientific Forer effect that is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I really fucking love maps.

It's no surprise then, that this site rocks my world.

PS I really need to move to New York...

Et tu, X?

2007-08-06T20:35:00.000+01:00

Being bang up-to-date with this blogging shit, I've only gone and done a poll! It's about snowclones.

PS I'm no Latin scholar, but it's nice that Caesar still used the familiar form of "you" even with the knife in his back.

Do I know what Rhetorical Means?

2007-07-31T12:53:00.000+01:00

ESPN The Magazine has David Beckham on the front cover, asking a frankly baffling question:

Will Beckham have legs?

I suggest the answer is: Yes. Two of them.

"My dilemmas reach one short of one hundred, however none of them involve a fine woman"

2007-07-25T21:57:00.000+01:00

Loving RapTranslations.com

A Public Service Announcement

2007-07-17T10:13:00.000+01:00

To the people who had any moral dilemmas about buying the Mail on Sunday last week to get the new Prince album I say this:

Suck it up, bitches.

Noseybonk

2007-07-08T23:03:00.000+01:00

The Internet and Inevitability

2007-07-04T20:10:00.000+01:00

I suppose if you're going to go around posting photos of yourself sitting on the toilet with a shaven head, you're going to get favourited by someone who appears to really get off on that sort of thing.

Seriously, look at his "public groups". I assume it's a "he" of course. Because it so is.

That is that. The end.

2007-06-29T12:51:00.000+01:00

I'll get me goat(se)

2007-06-04T16:51:00.000+01:00

Thanks to the maus for pointing this out (image 5).

Has Sean Stayte slipped a goatse past the bbc? Or did they get the joke and put it up anyway?

UPDATE: It's gone! But lucky I saved a copy eh kids?

UPDATE 2: The whole thing is now on wikipedia. God bless the internet.

UPDATE 3: On BBC London news too!

The Public Understanding of Science sinks to a new low

2007-05-15T15:55:00.000+01:00

In an article on page 19 of today’s Metro, liquid Nitrogen is described as a "gas".

UPDATE: I have received a reply from The Metro!

Everyone knew what we meant by 'gas' - even if it was wrong scientifically - and that is the purpose of communication, the business we are in.

I replied:

What did you mean by "gas" if not "gas"? Surely using a word correctly is at the very heart of communication?

If you need further information, I have provided the dictionary definition of "gas" FYI:

http://www.answers.com/gas&r=67

Kind Regards

UPDATE 2: Second reply!

Thank you so much. If I ever need patronised (sic), I know just where to apply.

Email this nob: kieran.meeke@ukmetro.co.uk

UPDATE 3: He looks old enough to know better

UPDATE 4: Thanks to Ben Goldacre and Science Punk Frank for bigging this post up.

Not the smoking guy

2007-05-10T07:49:00.000+01:00

Alan Carr is a tedious and unfunny prick whose very existence is indicative of the moribund state of the British humour industry. However, despite myself, I can't help but raise a smile at his funny little face on the posters around town.

Maybe I'm secretly glad he appears to have lost his legs.

The Innocent Smoothification of Language

2007-05-05T21:17:00.000+01:00

Brooker wrote about this a while back, but the infantalisation of corporate communication continues apace, much to the chagrin of all right-thinking people. Or maybe just me.

I received my new debit card today. Like the old one, it has instructions on the reverse in the event of its loss.

Old
If this card is found, please hand in at any Barclays branch or post to...

New
If that's not your name on the front then please read on. This card belongs to Barclays. So, if you've found it lying around please be kind and send it back to us. Drop it off at any Barclays branch or pop it in the post to .... Thanks

"Pop it in the post". Argh! I want my global mega-corporations to be cold, faceless and hard like the Borg, not like a fucking Tweenie.

Sigh. At least Gazprom won't let me down.

I could not read this wikipedia article with a straight face

2007-05-04T15:57:00.000+01:00

Can you?

Credit where it's due

2007-04-30T16:10:00.000+01:00

Fans of me might recall I spent the early part of the 21st Century signing my name as "M Otherfucker" whenever I made a credit/debit card purchace. I never got called on it once. I would still be doing it today, were it not for the introduction of Chip and PIN.

Anyway, here's some dude who was far more geeky about it than I was.

The Wisdom of Crowds

2007-04-29T10:24:00.000+01:00

Apparently the world thinks I'm 39. What do you think?

Everything you need to know about "organic" farming

2007-04-26T16:45:00.000+01:00

Science doesn't tell us the answers so some of it we have to go on feelings

Lord Melchett, Soil Association

PS You do know that The Soil Association were given a smackdown by the ASA for their misleading claims about "organic" foods, don't you? Good.

There's nothin' more dangerous than a boy with charm

2007-04-26T12:31:00.001+01:00

For anyone who doubts that Christina is the greatest female artist of her generation, I submit to you her latest video.

Fucking ACE!

Dail Mail hypocritical? No shit!

2007-04-18T12:37:00.000+01:00

Exhibit A: Article about a paedophile
Exhibit B: Article about a 16 year old girl wearing "world's shortest dress", accompanied by close-up photos of her underwear, linked from Exhibit A.

Can we call it the difficult 3rd anniversary?

2007-04-15T11:13:00.000+01:00

As with 2nd albums, so we have 3rd anniversaries. Was it me, or did nobody blink much on September 11 2004?

Anyway, this old horse has been going three years*. Sometimes Harry Hutton says it best:

Been doing this nonsense for three years now, and where’s it got me? Nowhere. It has simply widened the circle of people who think I’m a dick. That’s all it has achieved.

* You won't find the early posts, I deleted them all in a fit of pique when I realised how bad they were. They may come out in the "Collectors' Edition" of this blog.

...sometimes known as the TOWS Matrix...

2007-04-12T16:24:00.000+01:00

Nice to see dubious management bunkum being used to analyse major sporting events.

To British People!

2007-04-02T21:31:00.000+01:00

Although they are clearly a bunch of nutcases, you would have thought the Iranian regime could fake a letter a bit more convincingly.

Maybe this says too much about me...

2007-03-27T09:49:00.000+01:00

...but the picture used to illustrate the Stirling Engine on wikipedia looks well rude.

Gary Twitter

2007-03-26T13:15:00.000+01:00

Twitter is blogging vanity for dullards who feel we should experience, in 140 character form, all the mundanities of their dreary lives.

Luckily, I am friends with a maus who subverts the medium by bringing the fonnies every few hours. They then get beamed via science to my mobile and keep me entertained throughout my crushingly dull existence. Why not try it?

Two minutes hate

2007-03-16T13:00:00.000Z

There is one word in the English language that I absolutely despise. I have never knowingly used it, and when others do, it makes me want to die. What word is this?

TUMMY.

Argh! There's a perfectly acceptable word for grown-ups to use. That word is "stomach". Why do you want to sound like a retard?

What word do YOU hate?

Jocky Wilson says...

2007-03-11T10:50:00.000Z

It's no table football, but still: SAVE OUR DARTS!

Irrefutable!

2007-03-10T10:00:00.000Z

I can't get enough of GodTube. Behold!

Shove yr "New Rave" up yr arse...

2007-03-06T20:15:00.000Z

I'm quite happy listening to this:

Help the Police

2007-03-04T13:19:00.001Z

More me

2007-02-26T21:50:00.000Z

Here are some wikipedia articles I have enjoyed:

Cargo cult
Numbers station
Bullingdon Club
Italo-House
Fat Thursday
Arizona Fall League

This is pretty much the best single anyone could hope to release this year. Why not try coming back to me in December and see if I think anything was better?

Work Related

2007-02-16T15:07:00.000Z

Please view and vote on this. [NB I'm using a redirect so work's webstats won't find my blog]

If enough of you do it then I won't lose my job. Hooray!

A meta critic

2007-02-01T11:20:00.000Z

You know how pomo I am? My two favourite TV shows are about... TV.

The miner in the Rhondda, the coolie in Peking

2007-01-17T12:34:00.000Z

Two things:

EINS) PW persons of the year are Fiona Talkington and Verity Sharp. If you don't listen to the best music show on any radio station, then I can't help you.

ZWEI) My copy of The Complete Come and Praise came through from Amazon yesterday. I'll have a party if I can get enough interest.

Down wit da kidz

2007-01-15T19:56:00.000Z

I assume I speak for all of us when I say "All I seem to listen to these days is music made by American schoolkids". Well there's no need to stop now, when the Rappers Delight Club is IN DA HOUSE!!

PS There are worse ways to pass the time than strolling through this...

I heart rubbish adverts

2006-12-20T16:40:00.000Z

The Nivea Q10 spot is really giving me some love at the moment. The geordie accent really makes it - like a Eurotrash voiceover.

Obviously at this time of year it's perfumes and powertools all the way. As we know, all frangrace adverts are brilliant, but especially good are The Armani Code which has music that just kills, Lacoste, who have some boundry-pushing homoeroticism (who is this ad aimed at?) and Ralf Lauren who effortlessly corner the jazz trumpeter market.

There's another one with a guy on a yacht who's having his photo taken (happyface, happyface, happyface, SADFACE) but I forget who that's for.

"That's what happens.... when worlds collide!"

2006-12-18T13:15:00.000Z

I've never watched CSI, but it doesn't stop me from finding this hilarious.

What the hell is this album cover?

2006-12-06T17:21:00.000Z

It's from a quiz and is driving me nuts.

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAA I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF....THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVER......XDDDDDD

2006-11-26T18:51:00.001Z

Pink Windmill Sports Hero of the Week: Alex Arthur

2006-11-03T09:20:00.000Z

Alex Arthur defends his European super-featherweight title against Sergio Palmero tomorrow. Discussing whether he, or 18th Century political economist and moral philosopher Adam Smith, should be the new face of the £20 note, he said:

"No disrespect to Adam Smith, he created a great piece of work studying the rise of industry and commercial development in Europe and making the case for free markets but come on, I'm the first ever Scottish fighter to win the British and European super-featherweight titles."

Alex, The Pink Windmill salutes you!

"Amazing" Alex ponders the divison of labour

The Elephant in the Room

2006-10-23T16:07:00.000+01:00

The real Elephant in the Room at the moment is why does everyone seem to say "The Elephant in the Room" all the time and nobody touched the phrase a year or so ago? First Stef, then Banksy, who next?

Using the power of Google, I decided to see what elephants were in the rooms of the internet:

Age, Governance, Open source DRM, Shame, Israel and Iraq are all elephants we need to be aware of, in our rooms.

An elephant, yesterday

I'm just a poor goy, nobody loves me

2006-10-18T15:39:00.000+01:00

If you're anything like me you'll love this excellent online photography exhibition of female Israeli soldiers.

Hot!

Percolation and Gibbs states multiplicity for ferromagnetic Ashkin–Teller models on Z^2

2006-10-13T15:01:00.000+01:00

So, a link to a rather dry paper on statistical mechanics. The novelty lies in one of the authors, who is better known as "that chick from The Wonder Years".

PS Here are some photos of her in her pants, if you like that sort of thing.

PPS She has the lowest known Erdős–Bacon number for a professional actor/actress

The Ghost of Mrs Slocombe

2006-10-06T16:06:00.000+01:00

Loving the Wikipedia entry on the Double Entendre. Of course The Barrison Sisters reveal their "pussies".

Ethnic games tainted by cross-dressing cheats

2006-09-29T16:22:00.000+01:00

News story of the week:

Touted as a celebration of sport, culture and national unity, the Ethnic Minority Games held in southwestern China descended into a farce of cross-dressing cheating and mob violence, state media reported.

Pink Windmill song of the week

2006-09-26T15:41:00.000+01:00

The song of the week is "I don't like your face" by Furious Pig. Enjoy!

Countdown's Syndrome

2006-09-20T14:29:00.000+01:00

Have you ever wondered which ratio of large numbers to small numbers gives you the optimum chance of solving the numbers game on Countdown? Well wonder no longer!

Another email from someone I don't know

2006-09-19T16:35:00.000+01:00

Make of it what you will...

hi annie oak and po thank you po for your email as you know bob and pauline turned up yesterday lunch time didn!t know they were coming but it turned out a good day bob italked us in to going to weatherspoon for an evening meal (ucking meal ) so awful i came home and after they went puked the lot up he"s got this thing about weatherspoon pubs the best thing since sliced bread and you know how he keeps on when he"s had a few drinks drove us mad keep repeating himself what made it worse i had to agree with hin how lovely the meal was in case he threw a wobble but having said all that we still had a good day with them enjoy your stay in bangkok catch up with you later with love from mother xxxxxxx

Foods whose flavour can be impared by boiling, if common wisdom is to be believed

2006-09-15T12:19:00.000+01:00

Soup
Gravy
Baked Beans
Coffee
Milk

UPDATE: Also, Lemsip

Your host tries to chat up the Japanese Intern

2006-09-07T11:36:00.000+01:00

YH - "So, what Japanese music is hot these days? I'm really into Polysics and The Boredoms"

JI - "Who are they? What kind of music?"

YH - "Erm. Indie / Art Rock?"

JI - "I'm sorry, I've never heard of them. I like James Blunt."

Le Parkour est Mort

2006-08-02T20:58:00.000+01:00

This is where it's at in 2K06.

We're not doing this because we're greedy / The Bears are doin' it to feed the needy

2006-07-19T00:08:00.000+01:00

The greatest sports song of all time?

World Cup Guff

2006-06-26T21:40:00.000+01:00

From the bbc comes a selection of comments on England's performances. My favourite is from the cockily monickered "ishouldbeenglandboss":

We have the best set of players in the world but can't seem to use them.

Try Lennon and A Cole as wingbacks and with three quality central defenders, Carragher, Terry and Ferdinand we don't need a silly defensive midfielder.

Becks more central with Gerrard and Lampard further forward.

Play J Cole roaming behind Walcott and Rooney. If that's not the most attacking way forward I don't know what is!?

Now, arithmatic fans will note that this is a total of eleven players and no goalkeeper. Give the lad credit though - it is the most attacking formation...

Noam Chomsky is a Dick

2006-06-23T08:58:00.000+01:00

An unfashionable opinion, especially if you went to university where I did. It is the correct one however. This impeccably researched document by Paul Bogdanor should tell you all you need to know.

The inevitable "Good text messages I have received" post

2006-06-21T13:50:00.000+01:00

As always, no names, no pack drill. If you like one, why not say so in the comments? The sender will get some kind of reward. As you can see, most of them are about football. NB Don't vote for your own. I know who sent them, you idiots.

* What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses
* Schooled (followed by)
* He's Czech, he's great, he's Paddy Berger's mate, he's Vladimir! Vladimir!
* "This is a classic car, but it's more of a Ford Clappy than a Ford Capri. Shaun, your car game is weak, dogg!"
* Harry Kewell's hair is a fucking disgrace
* I'm sure the extras playing foreign sailors in The Bourne Identity just said "Yay! Fishing!" in a funny voice as they hauled in their catch in lieu of proper foreign words
* A man on the train talking to his dog "What did Alan Hansen say to you? Not to one player. Not to play in only one position."
* Man I'm pissed. Ask me about three stories: sushi. golf, another
* So I saw Morrissey in Crouch End today. NEIL Morrissey, that is!
* "Another miserable night for Mick McCarthy. I wouldn't like to be his cat. Mystifying commentary on MoTD. What is he implying?"
* I'm next to a guy on the bus who keeps referring to Drogba as "The Hairy Specialist"
* Ha ha ha. Might as well leave now and get to the car park early Steve Bruce
* I know what I mean. And I mean toe-bung.
* It it wrong to have the horn for KT Tunstall? If it is, then baby, I don't want to be right!

I <3 Crouch

2006-06-15T21:05:00.000+01:00

Abuse

2006-06-09T13:00:00.000+01:00

What's that?

2006-05-31T00:56:00.000+01:00

You want to see a video of England and Liverpool star Peter Crouch singing "Here Comes the Hotstepper" by Ini Kamoze (from the film Prêt-à-Porter)?

Oh, alright then.

In pictures: Czech punch-up

2006-05-24T11:52:00.000+01:00

Mr Macek said he slapped Mr Rath because of comments he had made about his wife.

Update: Video!

It's time for another Pink Windmill Quiz!

2006-05-18T18:11:00.000+01:00

What do the following countries have in common:

Chile, New Zealand, Mozambique, Finland, South Korea, Liberia, Philippines, Ireland, Germany, Jamaica, Latvia, Bangladesh?

UPDATE: Ha! You can't google this one. Anyhoodle, the answer is that they all have a female leader.

In other news, this blog sucks. I need some time to work out what to do with it. Laters.

The Pedants' Revolt

2006-05-11T22:49:00.000+01:00

Watching the aforementioned programme on BBC4, I was incensed to see the comely Ms Coren omit the apostrophe from the word "isn't" during the email section. It is possible, of course, that this was put in to annoy bums like me. Well if so, it worked.

Fuck off you crazy old dyke.

2006-05-07T18:24:00.000+01:00

I really like Julie Burchill.

The Pink Windmill recommends...

2006-04-27T12:39:00.000+01:00

Not going to work and instead staying at home, smoking fags and watching Channel U. Loving Professor Green - especially his sick remix of "When you Wasn't Famous"

The Teletext of the Newspaper World

2006-04-25T13:36:00.000+01:00

Question!

What is the worse cartoon in The Metro? Is it This Life or Nemi? [The latter is, of course, no Pondus]

PS There's a great interview with Westwood today.

Hey Left-wingers! Remember Solidarity?

2006-04-23T10:24:00.000+01:00

Here's something worth doing.

The Acceptable Racism

2006-04-18T13:57:00.000+01:00

It's a pet topic of mine, but it's nice to see it get the attention it deserves. However, the comments at the bottom still shock me.

"Americans are a loathsome, naive, petulant bunch" says "Craig" from Liverpool, who I assume must be a cheeky car thief. I wonder if he would say the same about black people?

UPDATE: This is interesting, if that sort of thing interests you.

Headline of the Day

2006-04-18T10:17:00.000+01:00

Is it me, or does the spectre of Chris Morris still loom large over the media? See this headline from the Metro.

In other news, I noticed a draft post I had saved with the title "I blame Nigel Rees". I have no idea what it was meant to be about.

Not very punny

2006-04-13T11:36:00.000+01:00

I like to think of myself as a connoisseur of wordplay-based business names (I take photos of places like "Hairobic" for kicks). The delightful "Shop Horror" compendium is resplendent in my lavatory.

However, sometimes this all goes too far. When the branding bigwigs were brainstorming (some say "thought showering") a good name for the Thresher Group of off-licenses, I'm sure after a few gak-fueled hours the name "First Quench" seemed like a good idea.

It's not. It's fucking awful.

Three and Two

2006-04-12T10:36:00.000+01:00

Being a fan of American Sports, I find myself baffled by ladies who wear cropped trousers over tights.

I always expect them to start pitching.

Big and Clever

2006-04-07T14:54:00.000+01:00

Man flogs wife's box on eBay

San Dimas High School Football Rules!

2006-03-31T14:33:00.000+01:00

Bill and Ted the Musical.

Say no more.

Blogging is Boring

2006-03-29T15:59:00.000+01:00

So why not do a jigsaw of Peter at the last day of The Ashes?

It's rebranding gone mad!

2006-03-20T13:13:00.000Z

"Why not support a Party that believes in green politics, social
justice and localism?" says a leaflet through the door. Who'd have thought it was from the bloody Tories?

Where's a bloodthirsty freemarketeer supposed to go these days?

Earnest is the new Arch

2006-03-17T12:46:00.000Z

No bullshit. No irony. No in-joke. This is the best song ever written.

[Note: link only lasts for 7 days]

Dear people in shit bands,

2006-03-15T17:57:00.000Z

I do not want to be your fucking "myspace" "friend". Please stop asking.

Regards

Marty

Ball, ball, ball

2006-03-14T17:54:00.000Z

As many, including Sven, think this is "the strongest England squad for years" that set me thinking. Is this team as good as the one that played in Italia 90 and achieved a creditable 4th place? Let's compare:

2006:
Robinson, G Neville, Ferdinand, Terry, A Cole, Beckham (c), Gerrard, Lampard, J Cole, Rooney, Owen.

1990:
Shilton, Parker, Pearce, Wright, Butcher(c), Walker, Platt, Waddle, Gascoigne, Lineker, Beardsley

I think the 1990 team may just shade it.

PS Anoraks may notice that England had no players from Manchester United, Chelsea or Arsenal but two apiece from Nottingham Forest and Derby County. How times change...

It's customer services GONE MAD!

2006-03-10T12:35:00.000Z

I phoned up AOL the other day. I burst out laughing when the call centre monkey greeted me with:

"Hello, you're through to AOL. How may I improve your online experience today?"

It was with great pleasure that I told the poor cow that my "online experience" would be greatly improved by giving me my migration code so I can switch to a faster and cheaper ISP.

Anthropomorphism is Funny

2006-03-06T14:28:00.000Z

Amusing stuff from all-round comedy guy John Finnemore (who I mildly stalk, having gone to school with his sister and watched doing funnies when I was at Cambridge):

More

Well, I Feel Heavy Metal...

2006-03-05T13:55:00.000Z

New Singstar details have been announced!

The lineup for Singstar Rocks! looks pretty good. I'm positively moist at the thought of belting out Teenage Kicks and The Boys are Back in Town. Small question though: When has KT Tunstall ever rocked anything?

For

2006-02-21T14:02:00.000Z

Hey kids. I've noticed that some underground stations seem to get their own little announcement telling you to "Alight here for X", where X is place of interest. However, the places seem to have been picked in a rather random fashion - no "for the British Museum" at Holborn or Russell Square, for example. Anyway, here's all that I can remember - contributions gratefully received:

Pimlico for The Tate Gallery
Warwick Avenue for Little Venice
Green Park for Buckingham Palace

There must be more!

PS A tube map, to save you looking

Is it possible I'm competent enough to be aware of my incompetence in assesing my competence

2006-02-13T15:26:00.000Z

Thanks go to the comments section of the marvellous Bad Science for alerting me to this (pdf version) wonderful journal article from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, investigating the phenomenon of incompetents' inability to effectively asess their ability level.

The opening para is great, and the piece just gets better:

In 1995, McArthur Wheeler walked into two Pittsburgh banks and robbed them in broad daylight, with no visible attempt at disguise. He was arrested later that night, less than an hour after videotapes of him taken from surveillance cameras were broadcast on the 11 o'clock news. When police later showed him the surveillance tapes, Mr. Wheeler stared in incredulity. "But I wore the juice," he mumbled. Apparently, Mr. Wheeler was under the impression that rubbing one's face with lemon juice rendered it invisible to videotape cameras

Friday Quiz!

2006-02-10T14:32:00.000Z

As a tribute to the once all-powerful pop juggernaut, I ask you, my loyal public, to answer me this:

Who was on the front cover of the first Smash Hits?

OK - So I'm going nuts about this cartoon thing

2006-02-03T14:14:00.000Z

I mean - what the fuck?

Can someone of a leftist persuasion explain to me the difference between the two statements below:

"We shouldn't have printed those cartoons as we were aware that there would be a possible violent reaction amonst certain individuals and it is our duty to avoid behavior, however legal, that could be inciteful"

"That girl who got raped shouldn't have worn that sexy outfit as she was aware that there would be a possible violent reaction amonst certain individuals and it is her duty to avoid behavior, however legal, that could be inciteful"

As far as I'm concerned, both arguments are complete bollocks.

Also, for info, an archive of historical images of Mohammed (PBUH) and the respectful nature of the Islamic press to other religions.

Probably get a lot of stick for posting this...

2006-02-02T15:15:00.000Z

... but I don't care. From the ever-amusing Jesus & Mo

I also liked the "Dome of Discovery"

2006-02-01T15:56:00.000Z

I'm all about the Festival of Britain at the moment. What fascinates me most is the 300ft tall pointy thing that was erected on the south bank called SKYLON.

Pretty cool huh? It was all shiny and space-age - reminicent of this badboy I saw in Moscow. Get me.

Anyway, all but the RFH has disappeared from the site. How do I start a petition to get Skylon back where it belongs?

It's a question that needs to be answered

2006-01-27T19:55:00.000Z

I've heard it said that evil fundamentalist and voracious anti-Semite Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of Iran, is "fit".

What do YOU think?